Musings on Quality of Gender Part 1
- Candace Cave
- Oct 8, 2025
- 4 min read
Hello There,
A recent dance immersion led me on a deep exploration of the multiple ways the essence feminine/masculine expresses via my being in my body. This work kept bringing me into my pelvis and a feeling that I could naturally associate with the quality of gender seemed to arise. A subsequent question from a student compelled me to explore even more subtly the quality of gender, as we can experience in our body.
Musings on the Quality of Gender
A long-time RP practitioner shared with me recently
“I don’t ‘get’ the quality of gender.
The other qualities feel distinct and unique within my body.
But gender just feels blah”
Inspired to help them, I’ve been opening to more subtle reflection and personal discovery.
*Please Note: Everything I describe and discuss arises out of my own embodied nondual experience, directed by RP practices and informed by questions, study, and subtle discernment. My descriptions, and interpretations, are based upon how fundamental consciousness feels to me, in my body, and how I interpret that experience.
In the Realization Process, we understand the Qualities of Being as different ways we can experience our oneness with/as the stillness of the ground of being, fundamentalconsciousness (FC). When we are embodied, we can uncover nuances of quality in our experience with FC when we access it in various parts of the body. These discoveries help us heal the most subtle ways our patterns separate us from the ground of our being.
In her newly released book, The Embodiment Workbook for Women, Judith writes:
“Out of all the facets of my identity, my femaleness has been the most formative.
It has been a source of deep wounding and of great enjoyment.”
Biologically, I am a woman. So is my “femaleness” my quality of gender? What does “femaleness” mean? And if the qualities are universal and recognized in each of us, how do I recognize the quality of gender in men? Is it their “maleness?” But doesn't that feel different from my “femaleness?” And is maleness/femaleness something different from masculine/feminine. Or are these just cultural concepts and not relevant when exploring the quality of gender?
For a while, I tried uncovering the experience from the physical/energetic level, ie:
The XX chromosomes & XY chromosomes determine female and male. But this way, male and female are determined by genitals (or chromosomes); certainly the form of our physicality doesn't define the ground of Gender.
I’ve also considered that for the first 9-12 weeks after fertilization the human fetus is neither (or both) male & female - the potential for one or the other inherent in that zygote.
But Judith has pointed us to gender as a quality of fundamental consciousness we can experience in the body. Gender, perhaps, has nothing (or little) to do with chromosomes or zygotes.
The past few years I’ve found the perhaps least complicated way to uncover the quality of gender is to invite people to inhabit their pelvis and feel themselves inside their pelvis. “What is the quality of your experience when you inhabit your pelvis? We are calling this the quality of Gender."
But that certainly doesn’t evoke Judith’s comment about “femaleness.”
The script for the quality of gender in Ex. 1, Attunement to Fundamental Consciousness, is:
Attune to the quality of your gender, however that feels to you,
inside your pelvis, (not an idea but a feeling, what your gender feels like to you)
(If you do not have a gender, attune to your sexuality).
But this doesn’t provide the clear pointing to gender in the way the other embodied qualities are exemplified (ie, power – “like a waterfall”, love – “a little bit of tenderness”, voice - "the potential to speak"). These have connotations of subtle experience. But what of gender?
And the quality of my sexuality doesn’t feel the same as my quality of gender. Sexuality is an arising, not a ground. So for a while I tried the quality of sensuality, the subtleness of all the senses. That, to me, felt more "still" than sexuality. But the quality of sensuality didn't meet the ground of my experience when I inhabited my pelvis. The experience of our senses in the world does not feel like a quality of being.
I tried all these different nuances to help the RP practitioner who found their experience of the quality of gender "blah." None of them helped deepen the subtlety of experience available inhabiting their pelvis.
So my exploration of this important aspect of our being in the body continues to unfold. And it is opening me, and my students, into a whole new realm of experience accessing the quality of gender in the pelvis. I look forward to sharing that unfolding with you.
To be continued, soon...
There is a lot to consider and feel through here - I anticipate this being a communal unfolding. I am very interested to know your thoughts, feelings and perceptions about the quality of gender. Please write to me: candace@embodiednonduality.com
Supporting Regular Practice: RP Community Practice Portal
Engaging More People: A New Youtube Channel
Continuing our gentle quest to “Get the Word Out” to a larger audience about inhabiting the body, we’ve created a YouTube Channel for www.nondualembodiment.net. Here, you’ll currently find videos and clips of Candace Cave and of Judith Blackstone.
We plan to add videos by other RP Teachers, possibly even you.
| As a Realization Process Teacher, we invite your contribution to the YouTube channel. If you have something meaningful to share about embodiment, nonduality, living in the subtle core, stillness, fundamental consciousness, ground of being, anything related to “nondual embodiment” as “defined by the experiences we uncover by practicing Realization Process." |
Please contact Candace candace@embodiednonduality.com
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